Backseat - From Where I Sit

April 2001 By: Michelle

Of Milk and Menace

With first hint of spring in the air after a long lull in the riding season, the urge to pop around town running day-to-day errands seems to be the perfect way to grab a little extra taste of freedom. At least on the surface, this method of adding excitement to less than thrilling tasks like picking up a gallon of milk or a box of tissues does not seem noteworthy. However, even the quickest ride requires a certain amount of "leathering up" in unmistakably biker looking drag. Thus leading to a few undeniable problems especially in suburban VA.

Have you ever tried to get service from a grocery store or a discount store in biker drag? Some folks instantly love you and want to talk for hours about motorcycles - the one that they want, the one that they have, the one they used to have, the one they hope to have, or the one they know someone else who has. This increases a 5-minute errand to at least a half-hour. Then there are folks that get really fidgety and nervous. They act as if they want to get you out of there as fast as they possibly can. These folks can be spotted easily by the wide berth they give you in the aisles and the quick turning away when you look in their direction, as they want to avoid eye contact at any cost. I haven't quite figured out what these guys are afraid of but I have seen it on more than one occasion.

I recall a past incident when Kent and I wanted to make a quick trip to a little yarn store in town. The storefront was made out of glass so the little old lady inside had a clear view of us rumbling up on the Sportster. It was cold outside so she got the full effect of chaps, leather jacket, etc. The fear in her eyes was unmistakable as she nervously wrung her hands and quickly pretended to look over her bookkeeping. I think she was waiting for the rest of the gang to circle her upstanding establishment and wreak havoc amongst the balls of yarn. It was all I could do not to say "Yeah lady - give me all your yarn! And I don't want no sissy soft stuff. I want pure wool - the scratchier the better!" I guess she found it hard to believe that a biker would enjoy crocheting when not out being a menace to society. I could hear her sigh of relief when I left without making a purchase. (They didn't have what I needed). I can only imagine what evil purpose she thought I had in mind for that innocent skein of baby pink yarn for which I was ruthlessly searching.

Another group of detractors you might run into while making your daily errands on the bike are the disapproving judgmental types. Their excessive frowning, rude stares or whispering and pointing make them easily identifiable. The thing I find most ironic about this particular group is that they are usually the ones dressed in the rattiest or most mismatched clothing. I can only assume that is OK if your clothes are dirty or baggy as long as there is some sort of still recognizable logo located on it somewhere. If you asked them why they ventured out in such shabby clothing, I am sure the response would be something like "I was just running down to the store to pick up something I needed while doing yard work". I ask you, aren't bikers entitled to this same little discretion? By the way, with the proper response, such as a sneer from the biker, this group easily converts into the nervous group indicated above.

After carefully analyzing the entire situation, I think I have come up with a compromise we can all live with. Listen up guys "All I want to do is pick up some vacuum cleaner bags and get on with my chores. Can't we all just get along? I know - I won't assume that every SUV I pass automatically is being driven by a driver with a cell phone permanently stuck in his/her ear and you won't assume I am a menace to society. Let's agree up front that I will look past your hole filled baggy Old Navy sweats and you will overlook the do-rag and riding boots. Deal?"

Thanks for visiting VirginiaWind.

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