Backseat - From Where I Sit

June 2001

By: Michelle

Owed to insects

No matter how you add it up BUG is a 4-letter word. It doesn't matter what kind of bug it is as they are all green on the inside. Any biker that has ridden more than a few feet on a warm spring day can verify this fact.

I may be a sissygirl but I hate them. I hate their natural instinct that tells them the exact best time to do their death dive on my visor is when there is absolutely no way I can stop because of traffic or lack of a place to pull over. I hate their uncanny sense of knowing that there is no water in sight or any place available to wipe their remains off before they rapidly bake on the windshield, jacket, glove or worse yet on your face or hands in the noonday sun. I hate the way they sting when they bounce off your body as your innocently riding down the road minding your own business.

Some folks may say I should feel sorry for them as they are giving up their life. I look at it this way - there is an entire world of sky out there that goes on seemingly forever, why can't they steer clear of the few feet of space the bike is taking up? I say they should learn to share the road and not try to bully me by going head to head (or more truthfully guts to shield) in a battle they can not win. Their petty victory of ruining my great mood (and my clothing) by carelessly careening into my path while riding is but a tiny victory and they should learn to turn from this evil practice.

Maybe I am obsessing a bit and I am not seeing things objectively. But as a bee bounced off my helmet and landed behind my seat when heading down Route 50 in traffic last week, any feelings of sympathy I had harbored, any thoughts of "live and let live" went completely by the wayside. As I waited in patient terror worrying whether the stupid thing would wake up and decide to sting its way out of my backside before we could safely stop the bike, I had time to ponder the meaning of their existence. As the seconds seem like hours, I had lots of time to draw the seemingly harsh conclusion that the road isn't big enough for the both of us.

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