Backseat - From Where I Sit

May 2002

By: Michelle

A Biker by Any Other Name…

In a meeting the other day I was introduced as someone who "looks like a school marm but rides a motorcycle". In addition to bringing peals of laughter from the audience, it started me thinking. I immediately envisioned myself back in the days of "Little House On The Prairie" roaring through the village trails, petticoats blowing in the wind as I stirred up massive clouds of dust while racing toward the one-room schoolhouse. I had to smile. Then it dawned on me, "I think I have just been insulted!" Thus began my identity crisis.

It occurred to me that many women who ride don't have cool nicknames but a lot of men do. Names like "Cruiser", "Prez" and "Papa" immediately identify men as bikers and are called out with respect among biking peers. They say something about the owner. I then realized just what I had been lacking. What I needed was a good nickname - and "Marm" wasn't going to cut it.

I knew it was going to be quite a challenge for someone like me who has apparently not an ounce of biker image in her looks. Yet I still wanted to be identified with something that meant so much to me including all the camaraderie and brotherhood/sisterhood that comes along with it. I spent days pondering my options.

What is a cool name for someone who is better suited being called "Shopper" than "Chopper"? I am too old for "Chick", not tough enough for "Rebel" and my kids have sole rites to "Mama". I brought my dilemma to Kent who could only stare at me with a blank look. Even he couldn't figure out a single title that would capture the real me.

There's always the option of what I do for a living but "Telecommunications Analyst" is too long and quite frankly it had a nerdish implication that wouldn't help my cause. My mind whirled, what about a Native American style name akin to the likes of "Dances with Wolves"? Even then the best I could come up with was "She Who Runs off at the Mouth" - too long. Thinking along the lines of other things that might identify me, I came with "Dieter", "Writer", "Yoga", "Procrastinator" and "Crocheter" - nope, nope, nope, nope and definitely not! I needed something that captured my soft nature and my love for the wind but "Windy" had too many Peter Pan type implications.

In my desperation, I searched all the way back to medieval times trying to come up with some awesome sounding mythical beast that would fit like "Dragon" but the best I could come up that captured my changeable nature was "Shape Shifter" but that brought to mind my all too real bodily shape shifting due to nature and gravity. I quickly ruled that one out! I was all over the board and couldn't seem to find any one thing that would work.

After a few fruitless days searching for my new "identity", I was again reminded of my shortcoming when after a long day at work; I drove my truck into the parking lot in time to see a group of young teenage boys admiring the bike parked next to me. I couldn't make out the initial conversation but I saw the neighbor boy pointing to me and heard another say "No way, that can't be hers". Something had to be done - and quickly! But how could I improve my image? Short of growing a beard what else could I do? I already had the long hair. I have the biker gear, too. Yet, somehow without wearing the garb, I was anonymous.

I became keenly aware of my vulnerability. I knew other people could easily be identified without being in full battle dress. I have seen it happen time and time again to Kent. Complete strangers knew, even when the bike wasn't around, that he was a rider and would strike up motorcycling conversations with him. Then there is me, next to his side, merely an accessory. Even in my Harley t-shirt, I looked like a "wanna be". What's a gal to do?

For now, I will have to be content just being plain old Michelle but with the right inflection and a mean look on my face, maybe people could pronounce it with emphasis or shorten it to Shell. Maybe I will settle for just some kind of symbol like "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince" and folks could just silently wave greetings. The search continues…

Thanks for visiting VirginiaWind.

Travel | Back Seat | Byways | Specials | Letters | Tips | About Us | Privacy | Disclaimer | Search