Backseat - From Where I Sit

February 2003

By: Michelle

Who Does He Love More - You or His Motorcycle

Surgeon General's Warning - This article is rated "FG" Due to the low testosterone content in this article "Female Guidance" is suggested.

It's February. That can only mean one thing - Valentines Day. That infamous holiday that makes many men groan and women swoon with anticipation. It's a warm-cuddly-pink kind of holiday that doesn't exactly scream out engine revving, hairpin turns, road grime, windburn and bugstrikes. In short - it's not a biker type holiday. I am not saying bikers can't be romantic. I can't think of anything more romantic riding through the countryside on a warm spring day with my man but I have yet to see a valentine card or box of chocolates proclaiming the love of a good bike and a good woman.

In the name of public service I have attempted to merge these two ideals into one. Naturally I turned to "Cosmo" for my research as they are the undisputed experts in matters of love. In fairness, I also reviewed "Easyriders" where I found that though they captured the theme of the love of the female body, they didn't quite capture the essence of Valentines Day.

After careful review, I devised a simple quiz. By answering these 4 revealing questions, you can determine the true state of affairs:

After a long hard motorcycle ride your partner:

1. Whisks you in his arms as the days adventure has put him in the mood for passion.
2. Spends the next 3 hours gently caressing the bike with a chamois while speaking gentle words of admiration to it.
3. Exclaims that he is hungry after a long ride and wants to know when dinner is ready.
4. Who knows what he does, you are out shopping and won't be back for hours.

At a motorcycle event a riding buddy approaches you and your man, looks you in the eye and says "Wow! What a beauty!"

1. Your man agrees as he looks lovingly into your eyes and exclaims how lucky he is to have you in his life.
2. He agrees but thinks the comment is directed at his bike as he hasn't taken his eyes off it long enough to notice that it is you to which his friend is referring.
3. He punches his friend in the face for trying to take his woman.
4. What's a motorcycle event?

At a major motorcycling event a beautiful sexy woman walks by in a leather halter top and hot pants:

1. You man whispers lovingly in your ear, she's not nearly as beautiful as you are!
2. He offers her advice on riding wear that offers more protection.
3. You can't tell where he's looking because he prepared himself by wearing dark shades.
4. Women go to motorcycling events?

You try on your chaps for the first time of the season and they are so tight your feet are tingling:

1. Your man gently wipes away your tears of frustration tells you how beautiful you look.
2. He has already started the bike and impatiently wonders what is taking you so long to hop on. He failed to notice that you can't even bend your legs.
3. Your handyman decides to help you out by grabbing a shoe horn and offering to work around the edges.
4. What are chaps?

Mostly A's - This means one of two things - either you live in a complete fantasy world or you better hold on tight to this guy. Do him a favor though, don't tell his friends - that will ruin the whole image. It's probably best to keep this secret to yourself.

Mostly B's - If you want to get this guys attention, I suggest you find a way to dress yourself in chrome and learn to make engine noises. Other than that, there is little hope.

Mostly C's - He's a guy - what do you expect?

Mostly D's - No response is needed here because you are obviously so disinterested in the motorcycling aspect of your man's life, you aren't even reading this.

Thanks for visiting VirginiaWind.

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