Backseat - From Where I Sit

July 2003

By: Michelle

Moments of Clarity

You could call it "Life's Little Lessons" but that's been done to death. I prefer to call it my "Moments of Clarity". You know, the kind of thing that takes the sting out of doing something really stupid by claiming that you actually learned something from the experience. Some how my life has been full of these types of moments, especially when it comes to travelling. The following incident was real the names have not been changed because I am still pissed off and don't want to protect anybody!

It was raining, which was nothing new as it had rained for the last 15 days straight. I was travelling back from North Carolina with my 2 children and our dog Biker. (As you can tell by the number of occupants this wasn't a motorcycle trip but the lessons learned are universal for all travellers regardless of the mode of transportation.) We left early that Sunday morning with the hopes of catching a quick big Sunday breakfast at Cracker Barrel, a family favorite activity.
Moment of Clarity 1: Every traveller on I-85 has the same idea you do. "Quick Sunday Breakfast" and "Cracker Barrel" can never coexist in the same sentence. Either be prepared to wait or skip it.

We decided to skip it because there was BOUND to be another great breakfast spot down the road where we could grab a pancake. Our hearts and minds were set on stacks of pancakes, crispy bacon and hot coffee. So we drove on eagerly waiting for the next promising road sign. We quit counting the fast food signs that we blew by in hopes of finding that one elusive breakfast mecca. We were starving, but this became personal. I just knew there was a pancake house just around the next corner. Before we knew it we were across the border and heading toward Richmond without catching the first whiff fresh brewed coffee.
Moment of Clarity 2: Lower your standards because the breakfast hour is a fleeting one when you are on the road.

Just when we were about to give up hope completely, we spotted it - the Waffle House sign. We were saved! Even though it was well into lunch time, they would serve us stacks of breakfast fare without batting an eye. We eagerly ordered everything our hearts desired and ate until we could hardly move. Like a fat happy tick, I waddled up to the cash register to pay my bill when the whole pleasant experience came crashing down around my ears. I handed my check-card to the cashier and was politely informed that "they don't take plastic." You could hear the syrup stain drying on my shirt as I could only stare in silence inspired by my cash devoid wallet.
Moment of Clarity 3: This is a biggie: NOT ALL RESTAURANTS TAKE PLASTIC. Despite what the credit card commercials tell you - TAKE CASH.

I had to tell the kids to stay put as they would be my collateral to assure the restaurant I would be returning. They sat back down in confused silence and suspiciously watched me walk out the door. I swear I could almost see their little noses pressed to the glass like abandoned orphans. They weren't the only ones watching me either. Our dog, Biker, became over joyed as I walked toward the car. She frantically scratched the glass and barked loudly as I continued walking by. Now I was officially guilted by both kids and the dog. That yummy breakfast was quickly souring in my stomach.
Moment of Clarity 4: If you have to leave your loved ones to get cash - don't look back - just don't. It gives them that extra edge to look even more pitiful.

I walked across the street to the nearest ATM located in a gas station. The ATM was in the far corner in the back of the store. It looked dusty and unused but I was desparate so I stuck in my card, which it eagerly took. I entered the amount I wanted to withdraw and waited and waited and waited. I couldn't leave to go get help because I was afraid that at any second it would spit out my card and my money for anyone passing by to grab or charge my account thousands of dollars that I didn't have. The best I could do was to feebly call for help.
Moment of Clarity 5: See Moment of Clarity 3. If you even consider doing the above - JUST DON'T

Finally, the cashier (who I might add was in no hurry whatsoever) came over and said "Yeah, it's been acting up." All I wanted was my card back, preferably with the money that I needed to bail my kids out of Waffle House jail and to be on my way. She pushed a button or two and the machine miraculously spit out my card but no cash. There was not another ATM in sight so I tried to appeal to her sensitive side and asked her if there was any way she could give me cash from my credit card.
Moment of Clarity 6: Asking someone "What kind of backward hick town is this?" is not the best way to appeal to their sensitive side.

With diplomacy having failed miserably, I crossed the street back to my car and jumped in much to the delight of the dog and the total panic of my children watching me through the glass at Waffle House. Bikers shoe-button eyes looked at me as if I had just betrayed the family but I was not in the mood to explain it to her. I quickly drove about a half mile to yet another gas station and yet another ATM and was able to retrieve the necessary money to post bail for my children. Ahh! We were finally on the way home to northern Virginia where they take credit cards for everything from Subway to Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Moment of Clarify 7: This is the silver lining to the whole day - Kids travel remarkably well after they realize that you could serioulsy leave them behind.

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