Backseat - From Where I Sit

August 2005

By: Michelle

The Way You Do the Things You Do

Many of us use rituals to make us feel better, bring us luck or just keep us grounded in the midst of chaos. If you ever want to see the perfect example of rituals in action, all you have to do is drop by your local Bingo Parlor. Here you will notice all kinds of strange behaviors that the hardcore players display to bring them luck - from strategically aligning troll dolls around each Bingo card to igniting a tiny flame on a lighter before each number is called.

I once observed a gambler tapping a quarter on the glass of the slot machine, then to his forehead and finally dropping it into the slot before each pull of the lever. He repeated this sequence over and over again. It didn’t seem to matter to him that he wasn’t winning. Apparently at one time or another, this process did work. It is the memory of this success that keeps him forever tapping quarters.

It’s not just in the gambling arena that this occurs, our every day lives are filled with little behaviors that are not directly connected with anything “real life” as well. For example, when we are riding, Kent and I have our own little ritual that we perform. At every stop light and at random moments, I pat both sides of Kent’s waist exactly two times. This pat-pat gesture is left over from our Sportster days before we were able to communicate directly through headsets.

In those days it typically meant either to stop so I could go to the bathroom or that a bug had landed somewhere on my person and I wanted to get it off NOW. Today, even though that form of body language is no longer needed, I still continue to send my non-verbal signals to literally keep in touch with him, send him my love and to remind us both of our history together. We’ve gone a lot of miles and I have probably pat-patted a permanent groove in his sides but it is a part of who we are. A ride just wouldn’t be a ride without it.

From not speaking until we have had our morning coffee, to wearing the same “lucky” shirt to all your job interviews, we all have our little quirks that we think will help make us feel more secure, make our day go better, make our work more productive of just get us through the day. Though others may question the reason for someone wearing mismatched socks every Tuesday, it works for someone at some time and that is all that matters. We all need that little reminder now and again….pat-pat.

Thanks for visiting VirginiaWind.

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