Backseat - From Where I Sit

April 2007

By: Michell

Running on Fumes

This month could definitely be filed under the “what was I thinking category.”  I actually thought that I would be able to write this article while chaperoning a group of over 300 High School kids on a 4-day field trip.  In fact, I thought I would be able to observe some really great stories capturing the joys, tears, angst and victories of the teen years.  However, I quickly learned that chaperones don’t “observe”, they “do” and that most of the trials, tribulations and triumphs bypass the teens and come directly from the adults involved.  By the forth day I was literally running on fumes – a noxious mixture of bus exhaust blended with the zoo-like funk of hundreds of teenaged boys trapped in an enclosed space.  (I am still questioning the wisdom of the person who decided serving baked beans the night before a 4-hour bus ride was a good idea). 

At this point of total exhaustion everything seems to be funny and the line between what is truly humorous versus one of those “you had to be there” moments becomes blurred.  Unfortunately this is where it becomes very apparent that vehicles are more efficient than humans.  Our cars have idiot lights that flash to warn us that we are running low on fuel.  Too bad the only idiot signs that people have are uncontrollable giggling at the least provocation – things like overflowing toilets or spilling hot coffee all over the bus seat become hilarious. It becomes readily apparent that our gauges are definitely broken as we vocalize those thoughts that should only be kept internally.  The only indication that we are running on fumes at this point is the dirty looks from the person we just accidentally insulted by saying “I can’t believe you thought those pants would work with your figure” out loud instead of just thinking it.

Our vehicles also have the advantage in other ways.  Regardless of what the gas gauge says on our motorcycles or cars, the steering and brakes still work and the odometers will always remember where we have driven.  Humans are not so lucky.  When we reach empty, walls become closer and the ability to maneuver around them or stop before we walk into them becomes impaired.  Trying to remember where we have been or how far we have gone becomes an impossible task.  In fact, trying to remember to look like we even have a clue where we have been or how far we have come is an enormous challenge.

There is also a similarity between humans and their choice of transportation.  When either one is completely out of fuel they eventually come to a complete stop.  However, this is where humans have the advantage.  We can actually reach deep inside and make it up that last steep hill to reach our final destination whereas a car will stubbornly stay stopped even if it is a mere 100 feet from the gas station.  Also, humans have the advantage of being able to park themselves on nearly any space to refuel where vehicles are limited as to where they can rest without getting a ticket.  We also have the choice of paying gourmet or fast food, whereas gas these days is only available at gourmet prices.

Despite the limitations, there is something totally exciting about the challenge of seeing if you can actually make it to the gas station.  I love the adrenalin rush I experience when the light comes on.  It is as if I am being challenged to make it to the gas station.  So, whether its joy of finally reaching that gas pump or the bliss of finally being able to rest your head on that soft fluffy pillow, nothing is more satisfying than the victory of beating the odds and surviving another day to do it all over again.

NOTE:  I have tried to explain this phenomenon to my husband Kent who totally does not understand why I can’t get the same experience filling a tank when it has a ¼ tank left instead of flirting with the “E”.  This is exactly why if I ever actually run out of gas, you will find me stubbornly pushing it rather than picking up my cell phone and calling him.  So if you ever see a woman in a business suit and high heels pushing a Saturn along Rt. 66, be sure and wave.

Thanks for visiting VirginiaWind.

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